Don't avoid that awkward co-founder equity talk

Dear Founder,

Remember setting those initial equity splits? It probably felt fair then. 

But startups evolve. Roles shift, contributions diverge. Someone might be coasting, another carrying disproportionate weight.

That was me. In one of my early startups, despite having significantly less equity than my co-founder, it became clear a few months in that I was contributing far more.

But I didn’t bring this up to “keep the peace”. And over time that silence became corrosive.

Trust eroded, resentment festered, and the situation ultimately imploded during a critical growth phase.

Looking back, I realise avoiding that conflict wasn’t keeping the peace; it was just delaying a bigger, messier fight. That initial uncomfortable conversation would have been far less painful than the co-founder dispute that erupted when real value was on the table.

Ignoring misaligned equity is like ignoring termites. You won’t notice it at first, but it builds quietly until it finally causes structural damage. If you have that nagging feeling, here’s how you can start addressing it:

1. Schedule it: Put a “Roles Catch-up” in the diary for next week. Don’t overthink the title, keep it neutral.

2. Prepare: Document how your role and responsibilities were originally envisioned and how they’ve actually evolved. Note specific contributions and shifts. Why does this matter now? Details are crucial. 

3. Discuss (Part 1): Clearly explain your perspective and observations. Then, ask your co-founder to take some time before the next call to reflect on their own contributions and the points you've raised, just as you have.

4. Follow up: Schedule the next conversation for the following week to discuss their reflections and next steps.

This won't fix the equity split immediately, but it will start the right conversations. These conversations might lead to further, tougher discussions later. But by then you’ll be ready to approach those more confidently.

Keep building.

Ishan